Get to know Dallas $egno


The man, the myth, the legend - brace yourselves

We caught up with Dallas $egno, following the release of his single "Rain" out now on Big Mix Up Records. We went straight in, with what we believed were a series of probing questions to introduce readers to the man, the myth, the legend...

What is the best dream you ever had? From the point I remember, I was in a strange land with Alan Witter and a foreigner sort of tour guide thingy... We came across 3 cute fat Asian girls who were bumming out in the streets on sleeping bags. "Teehee" they would laugh. I had previously pissed off some people as usual, so I checked to see if we were being followed. We were. A gang of dudes were coming our way and since me and Alan Witter were tourists, I was thinking these guys were planning to shake us down, so i turned around like "ruuuuun!" but no one was worried, so they told me to settle down. Everyone in this land spoke English but everyone else spoke a second language, except me and Alan Witter. Well Alan Witter there was paying video games on his phone as we ducked out to avoid trouble but he was making quite some noise in English, and a dude was down the alley taking interest in this, so i got up to check him out. Buddy decided to attempt to assault me. I didn't have none of it and used a chant to fuck him up. I sang "Na'im" and injured him pretty bad. I went back to our little shanty town and the others told me to take a nap before figuring out what to do. As I laid there asleep in my dream, I had a violent struggle with my dream dreams and attacked Alan Witter who was awake next to me keeping six. I didn't hurt him too bad but it explains why people don't like to share a bed with me. We got up to continue our journey. As we passed a gymnasium with many windows our guide said "Oh no, here they come" and I looked inside. There were benches lined up inside and from underneath them, many bad dudes were appearing. Me and Alan Witter went inside which allowed the others time to escape. Alan Witter went in and passed the Kung Fu masters and bowed. I gave them all the middle finger knowing I was the baddest motherfucker in the place. I took position in the middle of the room surrounded by hundreds of Kung fu masters and sang out "Na'im" and fucked them all up pretty bad. As we exited the building, I summoned some demons to keep them occupied but demons aren't easily controlled and one followed us out. As Alan Witter escaped, one demon stepped between me and my escape and decided he would try his luck on me. I cleared my mind and as he began a furious attack I chanted "Ra'im" and every attack he had was defended as if by a force-field and also dealt him punishing blows. As I awoke, I reduced that demon to dust in his defeat. In my walking state I returned to the gym and chanted "Ra'im", telepathically lifting all the masters in the air reducing most to dust so the others could witness my power. Then the last dozen I reduced to dust leaving one to witness as I slowly and painfully reduced him to dust.

Name your biggest influences, musically or otherwise: Are people really interested in questions like this? Typically I see the same answers from everyone. A bunch of famous people, a lot of them dead. And that is bullshit. I'd be lying if i only picked a few and said "Oh yeah, these are definitely the biggest influences" and maybe if I dropped an unexpected name or subject people would rub their chins and say "mmm interesting, wow he likes math". Is that going to help me sell good songs to famous artists? In that case I'd say... my own mind or... Alan Witter.

What is in the pipeline for Dallas $egno? Are people going to start taking my fucking money for projects I want completed and get them done in a fucking timely manner? Then Alan Witter. Some of my favorite collaborators are too fucking busy working shit jobs because consumers don't buy (enough) music. That's not a complaint that's a fact by the way. I don't care if you don't buy music. Most people I meet from poor to rich, doctors to bums, they all say music might be the single most important thing in their lives and have profound and romantic respect for the music makers in the world. If that's the case then any way you aquire air is fine by me. It just explains why you've been waiting so long to hear Alan Witter. We all know Dallas $egno wants to hear him on record.

What are your three favourite records of all time? Bank statement. Photo album. Childhood journal. In that order. That's a ridiculous question. I used to be a file clerk. I found out interesting things about double back flips and police officers' often hilarious names. One day Alan Witter came to me said, "Let's record this" hit play on my red t-bird cassette deck and...

How do you get away from it all? Buttsex

What is your life moto or philosophy? Fuck it. Butt fuck it.

What is the funniest thing that has happened to you recently? Alan Witter came to me and said "Dallas $egno, frserious."

Dead or alive, who would you want to collaborate with? Alan Witter

If you were a musical instrument, what would it be and why? Alan Witter. Because he's Alan Witter. And you'll know why, when you know Alan Witter.

March 12, 2017 6:19pm ET by Adobo Studios  

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