TOM
AGE: 39
FROM: Portsmouth
OCCUPATION: Expedition Company Director

ABOUT

Tom had a tough time at school. He was overweight, lacked any confidence, picked on by his peers and came academically bottom of his year. While he presents as a determined and confident guy these days, he says this is something he has worked on building over the years as he struggles to overcome an imposter syndrome from his childhood.

It wasn’t until making it into university that Tom truly found himself, living a year abroad mapping coral reefs for his degree. It was here that he discovered a love for exploration and adventure. After many years of working unfulfilling 'cubicle based' jobs Tom set up his desert island travel business as a means of monetising his passion.

Tom was trained to deal with polar bears when he walked to the North Pole. He only encountered a mother and her cubs at long range but after the race later learned that he was being stalked by one due to prints on his ski tracks.

Tom thinks competing on Alone will give him the validation he feels he needs to overcome his imposter syndrome. He also wants to prove wrong all of the people who doubted him when he was a young.

Interview with Tom

Why do you think you’ve got what it takes to do this challenge?

I find I feel my best self when I am immersed in nature, when I'm outside of the intense city life. I don’t know how on earth it will be doing that with the loneliness aspect, and with the calorie deficit. But the map’s unexplored and I like pushing myself to my limits to grow as a person.

What are your strengths, and weaknesses, and how will they help you or not in this adventure?

I'm definitely untrained in this environment to date I have only ever practiced tropical bushcraft. Using only a machete and never lifting an axe so I'm going to have to be very careful learning on the job. I'm pretty pragmatic, I can look at challenges and somewhat work them out. I'm pretty good at fishing, starting at 10 years old fishing off the pier in Portsmouth. Adversity builds resilience, in addition to my adversity growing up I walked to the North Pole, and that did allow me to experience what it is to live adversity to such a great degree. With the sun never setting we would walk sometimes for 30 hours pushing myself to my physical limit. I know that I can do that, and that gives me a lot of self belief that I can work through challenging situations in life. I know that when we want quite we are only at 40% of our real limits.

How do you feel about this challenge?

I am eighty percent really excited, and twenty percent terrified! It’s this kind of back and forth of fear and excitement, I oscillate through every day, especially as we get closer. This is the biggest adventure of my life, it’s the culmination of these experiences that I've had in my past leading to this huge adventure. Excitement is definitely the overwhelming emotion that I'm feeling. 'Alone' is the survival Olympics. It’s just the rawest, most real adventure and I'm just very grateful to have a chance to partake in it. Not many people ever get to go out into the wild, and live this kind of experience. It’s a very special adventure to be able to partake in and time in nature can be really cathartic for us.

Do you have something to prove in doing this?

I definitely do have something to prove. Though it would be amazing, the prize money is not my real driver. It’s proving to myself that I do have the resilience that I think I perhaps do. I guess I have something to prove to those who have doubled me in the past. I've always had a point to prove, since being an academically failure.

Which do you think you’ll cope better with – the mental or the physical?

I think I'm going to be better mentally, and I think this is a seventy percent mental challenge, thirty percent physical challenge. The two really tie in to each other. If you are not keeping yourself busy, eating good or sleeping much, the more that’s going to weigh mentally on you. So this really is ebb and flow, , the less that you do with the physical the more that you're going exacerbate the mental challenge. I feel like I've got a pretty decent coping mechanism. I feel like I can feed myself fairly well out there with my fishing skills, But who knows.

How do you think you're going to cope physically?

I think I'm going to be able to cope, but I know that my body is going to hurt. I'm going to try and do lots of stretching, and I'm going to try and learn meditation, and breath work, and, and really work on my self care out there, looking after my feet, looking after my hands. I think it all starts with looking after yourself, with the rest built on top of it. Once more the Mental Physical link.

How about your mental coping mechanisms? How are you going to deal with the hard times out there?

I've been learning breath work recently, and I find that really helps to settle my anxiety. Meditation is something I know is really beneficial in this environment so I will give that a crack.

How about your optimism? Is that something that’s going to come into play out there?

Definitely, I'm a seriously optimistic guy and its helped me so much in life to see opportunities and take chances in life, like this! Optimism and positivity are critical attributes that we see time and time again in people who make it out of survival situations. It’s one of those things that you can't fake. I think if you tell yourself you're positive, you tell yourself you're lucky, or you smile lots, all of these things help to make you more positive, more fortunate, happier. My positive disposition that I think really helps pick me up in darker times.

How do you think you'll cope with that kind of isolation?

I don’t know. I'm completely untested, I’d like to think that I can deal with it, I can process it, I can rationalise it, but I just don’t know. It’s an uncharted territory for me and it’s impossible for me to say. I know I will miss my wife and son, but my, hunch is I'm going to be able to deal with it, and I think you have to have that self belief, that you're going to be able to do it, and it shouldn’t be too much of a problem, but I don’t know, Deep down I'm an introvert and I think that helps. I plan to be compassionate with myself, I think when you are one your own and your only friend is your voice in your own head its important that voice is a kind one.

Do you feel an out of your depth with this?

Yeah, I'm definitely out of my comfort zone when it comes to this environment, I've never survived one night in temperate woodland before.

What are you scared of?

I'm really scared of the ways I can injure myself. So using my axe incorrectly when I'm tired and it can all be over. I'm also afraid of my fire getting out of hand in my shelter. You have to be meticulous, and considerate about everthing. Small mistakes have huge consequences out there. I'm not so scared of the animals, I don’t believe they are actively hunting me, I just need to not startles them. I really want to feel part of the environment, and then I want to feel welcomed into it, and not feel like it’s me versus the wilderness, me and nature are in this together. I guess I'm also a little worried about how my brain will react with that level of solitude. Not many people have ever gone that amount of time without human contact and if you have any demons in the recesses of your brain they will be sure to show up and torment you with no way of distraction.

What are you most looking forward to?

I'm most looking forward to really slowing down, and feeling at one and at peace with my environment. It’s a unique opportunity to live simply as our ancestors once did, without worrying about bills, and organising work. My wilderness job is just simply shelter, water, fire, food, and looking after myself. to live at that simplistic level is, is really exciting to me and I think could be immensely cathartic.

What do you see as your main competition in this whole process?

The competition is really myself, and me doubting myself, and having to prove myself. I wish everyone else the best experience possible, and I will be genuinely vying for them as I'm out there hoping they're doing well. It’s really just me versus myself.

Are you planning to win this?

Absolutely I'm planning to win this. It’s going to be a beautiful experience and winning would be the icing on the cake. It’s already been a great experience just getting to the start line. So long as I don’t make a fool of myself and only last a week or so I will be happy with myself.

What would it mean to you to win?

I think if I won this maybe I would dispel my imposter syndrome for good. I would be proud of myself. It would really improve my self belief, maybe it would exorcise the childhood failures, the doubters, the feelings that I had as a failure, as a kid. Maybe I could put all that to bed once and for all.

Is there a part of you that wants to prove how far you’ve come?

Yeah, I'm definitely trying to prove myself. I'm trying to prove myself to my school, to my teachers, to my family, to my friends, to myself. I can't help but have that desire to still look to prove people wrong from my childhood. I think it’s really good, to an extent. There is a healthiness to that, that just drives me forward, to always be trying to better myself, and prove myself year on year, never being too complacent in life.

What are you hoping to teach your son?

I try to be a good role model to my son. We teach him that kindness is more important than anything but this I think doing this me accentuates me as role model that I’m really proud to be and it hopefully showcases my resilience or my skills, which are things that I can inspire him with and make him more resilient as an individual. I hope it inspires him to follow on a similar path as he loves nature, he loves hiking, he loves camping. So I also just want to inspire him to also love the natural world and to be out there always growing as a person. When I asked him if I should do this, the sage little 5 year old turned and said to me; "of course you should - ’to try is good". I was blown away.

How unique is this experience?

Completely few get the chance to live this experience with somewhat of a safety net. Doing something like this is next level and it really allows me to go further out of that comfort zone and grow. I’m very excited about it.

How prepared are you for this experience?

I got a personal trainer for the last 6 weeks and started doing some core work and getting my mobility and strength better. I’ve also put on some weight. I’ve put on 18 kilos in seven weeks! drinking coconut oil, double cream in my coffee, eating a lot of pork scratchings. So, getting fat and fit!

What could make you tap out?

In my mind right now there’s nothing that’s going make me tap out. In my mind I will only leave early because I’ve injured myself or I’m sick. that’s how I’m approaching this. I think all of us probably feel the same way. This map is uncharted. We don’t know how our minds will react in that situation.

What will push most to limits?

I think the thing that will push me most to my limits will be...the hunger and the solitude and the combination of those, like a dripping tap that erodes at your psyche. My positive demeanour and disposition could be pushed off kilter by those two elements coming in. The mind does funny things I think when you’re hungry, when you’re lonely, when you’re tired. And so all of those pushing together could really trick me into tapping out.

How much tougher is this?

This is going be tougher than any other challenge I’ve undertaken, primarily because it’s a mental challenge. I’ve done physical challenges in the past but I’ve never undertaken such a mental challenge. Especially one with solitude. We’re social animals. I don’t know what that mental toll feels like. I’ve never challenged myself from a mental perspective, just a physical perspective. The two are intertwined but I think this will be the hardest thing I’ve ever undertaken.

How feel about first few days?

I think the first few days are really important. My emotions are going to be sky high, my adrenaline is going to be really intense. I think the natural desire is going to be to do everything as fast as possible and to build a home, I need to have my food, my fire, everything organised but in reality I’m just going to pragmatic and be happy with fifty percent.

What’s your overall strategy?

My overall strategy is being slow and considered and methodical. My strategy also revolves heavily around fishing. I have a few things that I will build out there to make it easier and I think building things is really going be good for my mind too. So, keeping myself busy, keeping myself grounded, looking after myself, really focusing on the boring parts like cleaning yourself well, looking after your feet, looking after your hands. Just doing the routines and mundane parts of this experience but doing it well and methodically, I think is really important.