NAME: Grant
RECRUIT NUMBER: 2
AGE: 37
GENDER: Male
FROM: Edinburgh
OCCUPATION: Bin Man
MARITAL STATUS: Engaged

Grant lives in Edinburgh with his Fiancé and his two dogs Lola and Lucky. Grant has an eclectic employment history, having worked as a fitness instructor on cruise ships and hotels across Europe for 7-8 years. He now works in waste disposal and calls himself a ‘Ninja Binman’.

Grant had a tough time growing up and was bullied at school because he had an interest in performing arts. He also had trouble concentrating and put it down to just being a bit stupid. Throughout his life, Grant has struggled with his mental health and has suffered from extreme highs, lows and regular emotional outbursts. Last year, after a dark spell, Grant was diagnosed with ADHD after his mum suggested that he speak to a professional about it. After getting the diagnosis, Grant felt relief that he could understand why he has acted a certain way in his life but also frustration because he wishes he was diagnosed, while in school.

Grant sees taking part in SAS as a chance for rebirth after learning about his diagnosis. He admires the DS and hopes to learn from them.

Congratulations! You passed selection! How does that feel?

As a civilian taking on Special Forces tasks and challenges, I felt super human! I felt like a new man...I feel proud. The DS put this course together. To pass this course makes me feel very proud as the DS standards are very high.

How did you keep strong and continue through the interrogation phase?

I did Tabata intervals in stress positions to keep my brain occupied and set myself small challenges to ensure I remained present. Not allowing my thoughts to become negative, I kept thinking about other fellow recruits, worrying about how they were getting on. But I also knew in my head it was going to end at some point, so keeping that at the forefront of my mind really helped me get through it.

The last part of the course was the toughest and not many made it past that stage. What made you keep going?

During the last part, I kept thinking of breaking it up into small sections. Like interrogation started with interval training and then the stress positions…

And just when you thought it was all over…there was that final sickener. How did you manage to keep going?

I kept going knowing that no victory was possible with excuses. I just hyper focused, which kept me going. I just wanted to get to the end.

Why do you think you made it to the end?

I kept thinking why. I can hyper focus which keeps me going. But ultimately, I made it to the end because I wanted to be there. Simple!

Why do you think the DS selected you? What do you think you did differently to the other recruits who didn’t make it to the end?

Throughout the course I always mucked in. I was always a team player and always gave 100% on every task but also, I kept my team at heart!

Did any of the DS inspire you to keep going to the end?

I felt that every time Rudy spoke to me, he was leading me to war, so I wanted to show Rudy that the underdog was behind him, no matter what. Rudy is an inspiration!

At any point in the course, did you consider giving up? What made you continue?

I kept thinking there’s no half time break. You have two options. Do it or don’t and I wanted to be on the course.

What was the worst part of the course for you? Why?

The worst part was never knowing what was next. Living in the unknown was unnerving and screwed with my head.

Would you ever consider joining the military after this experience?

Yes, absolutely, 100%

What was the first thing you did after you left the course?

I embraced and hugged the final recruits and then ate an entire tube of Pringles!

What did you do to celebrate passing the course?

I cracked open a bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale and fizz with my fiancée, then she took me for the most kick ass pizza, accompanied by the in-laws! But most importantly, I celebrated with all I really wanted - amazing cuddles!

At any point did you think the harsh jungle environment would beat you?

The jungle was complex and endlessly unforgiving and I thought the environment could absolutely beat me. It was unpredictable and I was not familiar with the elements, wildlife and climate.

What was the worst thing about the jungle?

Always being wet!

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?

As person with ADHD, diagnosed at 35 years old, I now realise why I found myself in a cycle of shame. Shame for things I have said, or maybe done before reading the room the way a neurotypical person might. Or shame simply from a childhood drama that still haunts me today. I wanted to demonstrate to myself that several difficulties I faced could be overcome in an incredibly unnerving and physically challenging environment.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?

To highlight that it’s not the case that I can’t do things, but more that I am able to take on the challenges the DS gave us, but possibly in a different way to the neurotypical person. For example, memory retention is something I find difficult, so adults like myself have to adapt by using learning strategies. There were a couple of tasks, especially the more mental tasks, where this happened.

Did it meet your expectations? What was different? What was as expected? And why?

It absolutely met my expectations and more. What was different was not being able to manage my emotions like I do in everyday life. The unknown is something I had to accept and accepting that I didn’t know when the task would end and when the DS would throw a spanner in the works. What I did expect was to see people expose their most vulnerable side and let their emotions lead them, dictating whether they stayed or not.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?

I learnt not to compare myself to others and not to judge a book by its cover. I also learnt that I’m not the biggest person, in fact I’m a wee guy and that doesn’t matter. I have a condition and several problems, which, in normal life, I played to my advantage. I’m all or nothing. They asked for 100%, I gave them that.

Summarise your whole SAS: Who Dares Wins experience?

A rebirth. For 35 years I just thought I was an odd egg who would accept what life hands him, but I reckon I just handed my old self its ass!